Solo Conversations
I talk to myself—a lot. I always have. As a child, I’d spend hours lost in my imagination, creating stories, playing out conversations, and dreaming about everything I wanted to do. Maybe that’s a part of being an introvert. What can I say? I genuinely enjoy my own company!
And over the years, I’ve learned something important: these little chats with myself aren’t just habits. They’re where my thoughts settle, where clarity finds me, and where courage starts to take shape.
Have you ever talked yourself out of something you knew you were meant to do?
When I was a young single mother, I had one conversation on repeat for years. I wanted to move out of my parents’ house, but I couldn’t shake the fear that came with it.
- “How will I afford rent?”
- “What if I can’t make ends meet?”
- “What if I fail?”
Whenever I thought I was ready to take the leap, my doubts would pull me back to safety. The unknown was terrifying, and I wasn’t sure I had what it took to do it on my own.
But the more I wrestled with these questions, the more I realized something: I had spent so much time talking to myself that I had forgotten to talk to God about it.
The Foundation of Faith
My parents, especially my Dad, made sure I knew who Jesus is. He always emphasized that being a child of God wasn’t just about going to church—it was about having a real relationship with Him. One of his favorite scriptures was Romans 10:9-10 (AMP):
“If you acknowledge and confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised Him from the dead, you will be saved.”
For my Dad, salvation wasn’t about being “good enough” or simply showing up on Sundays. He made it clear that knowing Jesus personally was what truly mattered. He loved the Lord deeply, and he made sure to share that love with me every chance he got.
That foundation of faith took root in my heart, but it wasn’t until March 1992 that I fully embraced it. I was pregnant at that time and I had been feeling really, really low for a few months. I was greatly disappointed and sad about some things that happened. had become withdrawn and kept to myself most of the time. One afternoon, while alone in my room, I talked to God about how I was felt. At the time, I didn’t ever think I would be happy or trust anyone again.
I got on my knees, prayed and asked Him to help me feel better. I cried out to God. I wanted to really know Him.Then, I acknowledged Jesus as my Lord and Savior and surrendered my life to Him.
It wasn’t a magic pill that made everything better, but, I knew I wasn’t the same person. I still struggled and had a whole lot of learning and growing to do. But that one decision I made that day in my room in 1992 became the guiding light for every decision that followed—including one struggle I faced as a young mother: the decision to move out on my own.
The Struggle of Overthinking
I’ve always been a deep thinker. But sometimes, thinking turns into overthinking, and overthinking turns into fear.
I talked myself out of it for years, going back and forth, making excuses, and convincing myself to stay where it was safe, letting fear and doubt keep me stuck. Besides, my parents weren’t pressuring me to move out. But my faith, a seed planted by my father and strengthened through my own journey, gave me the courage to finally do it. I felt God pushing me—gently but firmly—telling me it was time to let go and trust Him.
It wasn’t a booming voice or a dramatic revelation. Just a quiet but clear nudge: “Take the first step, and I will be with you.”
I had been waiting for a sign, a guarantee, for something to prove that I wouldn’t fail. But faith doesn’t work like that. Faith is trusting even when you can’t see the whole picture. The more you grow in your relationship with Christ, the more your faith and trust in Him will grow.
Stepping Out in Faith
The fear didn’t disappear overnight. I still had questions. I still wondered if I was making the right choice. But for the first time, I wasn’t trying to figure it all out on my own.
I prayed. I trusted. And I moved out.
And you know what? God provided. He always had, and He always would. My son and I never went without. My parents were still there for me, and things always worked out. Looking back, I now see that taking that step wasn’t just about moving out—it was about learning to rely on God, not just what I could do.
Then vs. Now: A Shift in Perspective
Back then, trusting God felt simpler. Maybe it was because I still had a safety net—my parents. Even though I worried, I believed God would take care of me, and He did.
But now? Life has been more challenging these past few years, especially during the transition into menopause. I find myself more anxious, overanalyzing everything, trying to control outcomes, and wanting to see the entire plan before I take a single step.
So, besides menopause, what else changed?
- Then: I trusted God more easily, even without seeing the full plan.
- Now: I overanalyze, stress, and try to control outcomes.
- Then: I believed that God would provide no matter what.
- Now: I sometimes question if I have what it takes to keep going.
But you know what? God hasn’t changed. He never changes. I changed—my perspective had changed. I was focusing on my problems instead of HIM.
That’s why Isaiah 26:3 (AMP) is such a bright light for me when I’m walking on a dark path:
“You will keep in perfect and constant peace the one whose mind is steadfast (that is, committed and focused on You—on both instinct and intellect) because he trusts and takes refuge in You (with hope and confident expectation).”
It reminds me that trusting God brings peace, even when I face fear or uncertainty.
Your Turn: Taking the First Step
If you’re waiting for all the answers before you move forward, let me save you some time—that’s not how faith works. Faith is trusting that God has already made a way, even when you can’t see it.
Looking back, I’m grateful for the conversations I had with myself, my Dad, and most importantly, God. They shaped me, strengthened me, and reminded me that fear doesn’t have to have the final say.
So, if you’re standing at the edge of a big decision, wondering if you have what it takes, let me remind you: You don’t have to figure it all out. Just take the first step. Trust that God will meet you there—because He will. Yes, even there!
I’d love to hear from you. Have you ever had to take a step of faith without knowing how it would all work out? Leave a comment or send me a message. Let’s encourage each other on this journey!
