Embracing the Unconventional: Letting Go and Beginning Again
I was tweaking some information on my website’s “About Me” section when I caught a phrase I had written without much thought: I haven’t done things the conventional way.
And then I stopped. What does that even mean? What exactly is “conventional,” and who decided it in the first place? And why have I, and so many others, given so much weight to what “people” think is the right way to do things?
That moment made me realize something big: I need to let go of conventional ideas and begin again. Not just once but over and over as life shifts and changes. And that’s okay!
Letting Go of Conventionality
One of the biggest things I had to release was the idea that life had to follow a straight, predictable path. God, in His infinite wisdom, made me different. He made us all different. That means our journeys won’t—and shouldn’t—look the same.
When I turned 50 in May 2020, I had just earned my undergraduate degree. I thought that degree would open doors to a career I loved, something that felt fulfilling rather than just a way to pay bills. But that didn’t happen. Instead, I found myself in the same job I had been doing for years, feeling stuck and wondering if I had missed my chance.
I had worked so hard, believing that a degree would be the key to a fresh start. But when that fresh start didn’t come the way I expected, I felt defeated, like I had done all that work for nothing.
It’s now 2025, and I’m embracing the possibilities ahead. I am not clear how things will work out, but I know it will. Life is a faith journey. This blog is one of the first steps of that journey.
A Long Road to Graduation
When I say I didn’t take the traditional route through college, I mean it. My journey started in 1988 at Howard University. H.U.! You Know!
But, like a lot of young, unfocused students, I got caught up in the freedom of being away from home for the first time. Going to class became optional in my mind, and soon enough, I flunked out.
Not long after, I became a mother, and my focus shifted completely. My priority wasn’t school anymore—it was raising my son and making sure he had everything he needed.
Twelve years passed before I even considered going back. When I did, I started small—one or two classes at a time at a community college. I juggled those classes with 12-hour night shifts at the hospital. I worked three or four nights a week, squeezing in classes on my nights off or right after getting off work in the mornings.
It wasn’t easy. I was exhausted most of the time. But I never wanted to quit. Graduating from college was important to me.
After many years of chipping away at it, I finally earned my associate degree in 2017. And I didn’t stop there. Three years later, I graduated from the University of Baltimore Summa Cum Laude style.
It took me decades to finish what most people do in four or five years. But guess what? I finished. Now, that’s pretty unconventional, wouldn’t you say?
And if there’s one thing I’ve learned, it’s this: the timeline doesn’t matter. What matters is that you keep going.
The Comparison Trap
For a long time, I measured myself against people I went to college with who seemed to have it all figured out from the start. They built successful careers, and moved seamlessly from one phase of life to the next.
Meanwhile, I felt like I was still trying to catch up.
As I reflect on this now, it feels silly because, although many of them were successful, I’m sure they each had their own struggles, too.
I used to think that not knowing what I wanted to do with my life made me less than. But now, at 54, I understand that not knowing is okay. It was okay when I was younger and is still okay now.
I know now that each of our life journeys is supposed to be different. Flunking out, getting pregnant, and becoming a mother at 22 were parts of God’s plan for my life.
I’ve learned over time I’m supposed to hope, trust, rely on, and have faith in God alone. If I had it all together, I wouldn’t need Him. And I definitely need God every minute of every day.
We all move at different paces. Some people find their purpose early. Others take the scenic route. Neither is better—it’s just different.
Embracing My Unconventional Path
In 2024, after almost 28 years of service, I made the bold decision to resign from my job in the hospital.
I struggled for months to reach that decision, but I have no regrets. Most people wouldn’t quit a job before securing another one, and I definitely don’t recommend it. However, for many reasons, it became clear that it was time for me to let go and embrace a new chapter.
But I knew—deep in my spirit—that it was time. It was time to let go. And I’m so thankful to God my husband supported me in this decision.
I don’t have all the answers yet. I don’t know exactly what’s next. But what I do know is this: my path was never meant to look like anyone else’s.
And maybe, just maybe, yours isn’t either.
As I continue this journey, I am learning to embrace the beauty of my unconventional path. It may not fit the mold of society’s expectations, but it is rich with lessons, growth, and the promise of new opportunities.
I’m happy to know and experience God in ways I haven’t before. I have come to understand that our paths are as unique as we are, and it’s okay to carve out a route that reflects our true selves.
Trusting in God’s Plan
One of the greatest lessons I’m learning is to stop trying to control every step of my journey.
Proverbs 3:5-6 says:
“Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to Him, and He will make your paths straight.”
That verse has become one of my anchors. I like to be in control—I always have. But I also know that faith and control cannot coexist. If I say I trust God, I have to actually let go and let Him lead.
Letting go isn’t easy for me—it never has been. But I keep praying about it, working on it, and surrendering—every day.
Trusting God equals freedom, and I want to be free!.
A Call to Reflect
As you navigate your journey, I encourage you to reflect on what you might be holding onto that’s weighing you down. Is there one thing you can surrender to God today? Take a moment to write it down or say it out loud—claim the freedom you seek! You might even consider keeping that reminder somewhere visible (posted on the mirror in your bathroom or on a vision board in your closet, for example) to serve as a commitment to seeking freedom in your life.
I’d love to hear from you! Have you experienced freedom through letting go? Or are there areas where you’re still learning to release control? Share your thoughts in the comments below—I’d love to walk this journey with you!
