Zanele's Faith Journeys

“Blessed [with spiritual security] is the man who believes and trusts in and relies on the LORD and whose hope and confident expectation is the LORD. For he will be [nourished] like a tree planted by the waters, that spreads out its roots by the river; and will not fear the heat when it comes; but its leaves will be green and moist. And it will not be anxious and concerned in a year of drought nor stop bearing fruit.” — Jeremiah 17:7–8 (AMP)

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The Squat I Had to Change

It’s been a while since I shared a monthly wellness update—June, to be exact. A lot has happened since then. So here’s my Steadfast September update, with a little gym time, a lot of life, and lessons in staying rooted when the plan has to change.

These last few Fridays at the gym, before I get under the bar to squat, I set up a 12-inch red box with a 45-pound bumper plate and a 10-pound bumper plate on top of it.

Then I squat down to it and stand back up in one motion.

It’s not how I pictured squatting this fall. A few months ago, I strained my left hip flexor, and I had to stop squatting for a while until it calmed down. Once I could walk up and down stairs and squat (without the bar) and without pain, my coach helped me make the adjustments I needed so I could start squatting again (with the bar). I still can’t squat below parallel without some pain, and that’s where the box comes in. 

That box has become the best picture I have of this whole season. If life’s been life-ing and messing up your plans, and you’re wondering whether you’re failing and how to keep going, I want to share what I’ve learned about being steadfast.

What Steadfast Really Means

Steadfast means firmly fixed in place, not easily moved or shaken. It also means loyal, unwavering, and faithful over time.

For a long time, I thought that meant static and immovable. To me, that means never missing a workout, never adjusting the plan, and never considering a different approach.

But being steadfast isn’t the same as being inflexible or never changing how you do things. A tree can bend in the wind and still be steadfast, because its roots stay put. The branches move, but the roots don’t.

This is just one of many lessons I’ve been learning during this season. 

When My Plan Fell Apart

Barbell squatting has never come easily to me. It’s been a struggle since I started lifting five years ago. I had to build a lot of strength in my legs just to reach some depth, and my form is still a work in progress. So when I got back to training this past May, I made a decision: I was going to really focus on my squat and look forward to it the way I do with my other lifts.

Then, in late May, I strained my hip flexor.

I’ve been unemployed for two and a half years, and I think sitting too much played a big part. I haven’t been as active as I was before. When I brace for a bench press, I want my feet firmly planted flat on the floor, and I’d been having trouble getting them flat the way I used to. So I forced it, and I’m pretty sure that’s how the strain happened.

That’s just how life is, isn’t it? You finally commit to the hard thing, and something knocks you back before you get the chance.

Then something much bigger happened. My Mom had a health emergency, and almost overnight I became her full-time caregiver.

“A man’s mind plans his way [as he journeys through life], but the LORD directs his steps and establishes them.” — Proverbs 16:9 (AMP)

I’m a planner, and none of this was in my plan. But it surely wasn’t outside of the Lord’s.

My Mom is doing better now, and I praise God for that every day. She’s not been cleared to drive, though, and she still needs help around the house. She’s also relocating, so I’m getting rid of unwanted items in her house, booking long-distance movers, and getting the house ready to sell.

And alongside all of that, I’m in the messy middle of a divorce. Now, read that right. LOL. Yes, yet another messy middle.

For a month, there was no time for me to go to the gym at all. But looking back, that month off actually helped my hip heal. My body got the rest I probably wouldn’t have given it on my own. The Lord was directing my steps even there, up and down the two flights of stairs in my Mom’s house, over and over, every day. I was getting a different kind of workout.

Bending Without Breaking

I’ve been back in the gym for six weeks now, and it has been great.

I did a lot of research on hip flexor strains, and I’m doing specific exercises and stretches to rehab mine. For the last four weeks, I’ve been squatting again with the help of that box.

I’ve learned not just with this injury, but with a few of them over the last five years: sometimes I can keep training through an injury by adjusting the lift or doing a similar movement. The box doesn’t mean I’ve failed at squatting. It’s how I’m still able to do the squat. As the hip flexor continues to heal, I will be able to remove the bumpers. And then eventually, I won’t need the box.

I have to be flexible in my walk with God, too. When adversity comes (and it will), the answer isn’t always to push harder, and it’s never to give up. Sometimes it means I have to bend by being flexible and ready to pivot when the Lord calls. This is a necessary part of the journey with Him. But there’s a difference: while the time may come when I’ll no longer need that box to squat, I will always need Jesus.

What Stays Rooted

Bending is only one part of being steadfast, though. The other half is knowing what doesn’t move.

On September 2nd, I posted on Threads that it was “no sweets” September for me: no cookies, no cake, no brownies, no doughnuts, no pies, no candy. (And no muffins!) I cut out all processed sweets, and I’ve stayed with it all month. I’m not stopping there, either. I plan to go sweet-free through November (3 months), and when I make it through November, I’ll keep going through December. I want it to become a lifestyle change.

In a season when so much is out of my control, that commitment is one of my roots. It’s something I’m choosing and can keep.

Showing up for my whole self is another choice I’ve made. I’ve always called my time at the gym my Barbell Therapy, and in this season that name means more than ever. But the barbell isn’t the only therapy I need right now. My time with my therapist matters just as much. They’re two different kinds of work, both necessary for me in this season, and one doesn’t replace the other. If you’ve ever felt that needing a therapist means your faith isn’t strong enough, please hear me: getting support is part of caring for the whole person God created you to be.

Trusting Without the Full Picture

There’s a lot of uncertainty in my life right now.

I don’t yet know where I’ll be living after December 31st. And for a planner like me, that’s really hard.

I’m also looking for work, because I need the income. But at 56, I know for sure that I don’t want a traditional job. I don’t want to trade my time for money anymore. I want to earn a living through something I’m building for myself. Both of those things—needing income now and wanting to build something of my own—are true at the same time, and I’m learning to hold them together without letting one cancel out the other. Yes, another messy middle.

In any case, I know I’m still serving God through my work, whether it’s for myself or someone else.

For the last few years, my prayer has been, “Lord, help me trust You like I never have before.” I’m starting to realize this season is the answer to that prayer.

Heat still comes to that tree, and so does drought. Yet it stays green anyway because of where its roots are.

I’m trusting God with what I can’t see. Right now, there’s no evidence that what I’m hoping for will come to fruition, but I trust God with it all.

I don’t have the answers yet. But I have no doubt it will work out. I didn’t say it would work out perfectly or the way I hope, but it will work out. And not only that, it’ll work out for my good and God’s glory.

If Your Plans Have Fallen Apart Too

Here’s what I’d tell you over brunch:

• Your plans falling apart doesn’t mean you’re failing. We plan our way, but the Lord directs our steps, even the ones we didn’t choose.
• Consider what you can adjust. Sometimes continuing means changing your approach. When pain is involved, and you’re not sure what your body needs, check with a doctor or physical therapist.
• Listen when your body stops cooperating. If something that used to be easy suddenly isn’t, don’t force it. Get curious about why.
• Know what your roots are. Choose a few things that don’t move, like your faith or one commitment you can keep, and hold on to them.
• Care for more than your body. Move your body, and care for your heart and mind. It’s okay to need support with both.

Steadfast doesn’t mean rigid. It means rooted. You can still bend, pivot, and squat to a box, and still be exactly where God planted you.

Life is a faith journey. Walk boldly.

💜 Be flexible. Pivoting isn’t quitting.
💜 Be rooted in what doesn’t move, even when everything else does.
💜 Be steadfast. Bend when you have to, and keep bearing fruit.

If your plans have fallen apart and you need a reminder that bending isn’t breaking, I’d love to walk alongside you. We don’t have to have life figured out to keep growing in faith. Subscribe to receive my latest posts by email, and let’s encourage one another—right here in the messy middle. 💜💜

— Tami Zanele.