“That is why I tell you not to worry about everyday life—whether you have enough food and drink, or enough clothes to wear. Isn’t life more than food, and your body more than clothing? Look at the birds. They don’t plant or harvest or store food in barns, for your heavenly Father feeds them. And aren’t you more valuable than they are? Can all your worries add a single moment to your life?”
– Matthew 6:25-27 (NLT)
When Anxiety Does Math You Can’t Afford
Anxiety is doing math I can’t afford. Literally.
Cardiology and gynecology copays + ultrasound and mammogram deductibles = money I do not have. Add in the monthly marketplace insurance premium I really can’t afford, and the equation seems unsolvable.
This is what the start of 2026 looks like for me. And if I’m honest? I’m so nervous about it all.
I recently received an email from LaShonda Brown, a well-known digital creator and innovator (and creator of Bootstrap Biz Advice), entitled, “Don’t let a rough start turn into a rough year.” That really resonated with me.
Because my January didn’t just have a rough start. I shared (in my last blog) how my January had right-sided chest pain for three days that led to a Patient First visit—and it turned out to be a new-onset GI issue caused by stress. Then, separately, multiple abnormal EKGs that now require seeing a cardiologist for follow-up. Then there’s post-menopausal bleeding (I’ve been dealing with it off and on for a month), which means an ultrasound and a gynecology appointment later this week. Oh, and let me not forget, yet another set of repeat mammogram and ultrasound (I’ve had 2 already) to monitor for changes for a spot on my left breast.
And all of it—every single follow-up, every test, every specialist—costs money (I don’t have) while I’m unemployed and job hunting.
If January is any indication of what 2026 holds, I have every reason to be a little anxious.
Except… the Lord tells us to be anxious for nothing.
And I’m trying to figure out what that actually means when “nothing” feels like a lot.
The Impossible Math Anxiety Makes Me Do
I have insurance through the marketplace—an HMO plan with higher specialty copays and deductibles. And before anyone says, “At least you have insurance. At least you can afford marketplace insurance.”—Let me be clear: I can’t really afford it. But, I also can’t afford NOT to have it. So I made it a priority, even when the monthly premium is a stretch.
Copays and deductibles are things that can be managed financially when you’re employed. But when you’re unemployed? Every health decision becomes impossible math.
My mind does the calculation automatically now: Which potentially serious health issue do I address first with money I don’t have?
And underneath all of it is the tension I’m living in daily:
The immediate crisis: How do I pay for these appointments THIS month?
The underlying dream: What if God shows me how to make Zanele’s Faith Journeys work (in a way I can’t see yet), and I never have to go back to a traditional job? That’s my big, beautiful dream right now.
The current reality: I’m job hunting because I need income NOW. Not next month, not when ZFJ “takes off”—NOW.
I can’t eat dreams. I can’t pay for medical tests with hope.
So what does it look like to pray about this? Do I pray for a job I don’t really want? Do I pray for my brand, ZFJ, to generate income? Do I pray for help with the medical bills? All of the above?
“Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything…”
Okay, Lord. But what does that actually mean when “everything” includes: abnormal EKGs, post-menopausal bleeding, breast monitoring, no income, job application rejections, and a dream I can’t let go of?
Prayer Is Not Performance—It’s Worship
We see so many performative prayers on display—the long-winded kind that sound good in public, the kind designed to impress people or check a spiritual box. But that’s not what God is asking for when He says, “Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything.”
Prayer is an act of worship.
It’s an opportunity to express to God how great He is and just how much we appreciate the many ways He’s shown up for us in our daily lives:
- Father
- Friend
- Counselor
- Doctor (Jehovah Rapha—the Lord who heals)
- Provider (Jehovah Jireh—the Lord who provides)
- Waymaker
- Problem-Solver
- El Roi (the God who sees me)
I could go on and on about that. Talking to God is such a special gift.
And yet, even knowing all these beautiful truths about who God is, sometimes I still wrestle with how to pray in the midst of real anxiety and fear. Here’s where it gets real for me: How do you pray when you’re genuinely scared about what the cardiologist might find? How do you thank God as Jehovah Rapha when you’re bleeding unexpectedly and don’t know why? How do you worship when every medical bill causes some anxiety? How do you trust Philippians 4:6-7 when the what-ifs are medical, financial, AND stacking up?
Prayer becomes less about getting the outcome I want and more about anchoring myself in God’s character while I wait for answers.
It’s not: “God, please let the tests come back fine and make money appear.”
It’s: “God, You are Jehovah Rapha, my Healer. You are Jehovah Jireh, my Provider. You are El Roi, the God who sees me. I don’t know what these tests will show. I don’t know how I’ll pay for them. But I know WHO You are.”
That’s worship. That’s the kind of prayer that guards my heart and mind even when circumstances haven’t changed yet.
You’re Not Alone—And Neither Am I
Here’s something I have to remind myself: Everyone is going through difficulties in their lives, not just me, and some of those things are much more challenging than what I’m going through.
I have insurance through the marketplace—an HMO plan with higher specialty copays and deductibles. But here’s the thing: someone else is facing medical bills with NO insurance at all. Someone else just got a devastating diagnosis. Someone else is choosing between medication and rent. There is always someone who is struggling more than you. It’s important to keep that in mind. That helps when you start thinking, “Why is this happening to me!”
This isn’t about dismissing my own struggles—they’re real. But perspective matters. When I remember that I’m not the only one walking through hard things, and that others are carrying even heavier loads, it helps me shift from self-pity to gratitude. From “why me?” to “what now?”
Many women over 50 deal with very dense breasts and need monitoring. Post-menopausal bleeding is scary but common. Financial stress combined with health concerns is a brutal combination that so many of us face.
I’m not alone. And if you’re reading this, neither are you.
We don’t walk this faith journey in isolation. We walk it together—sometimes scared, sometimes uncertain, but always held by a God who sees us and never leaves us. “The LORD is my strength and my shield. I trust him with all my heart. He helps me, and my heart is filled with joy…” (Psalm 28:7, NLT).
Fear Is Part of the Equation—But It Doesn’t Get to Be the Boss
I need to say this clearly: I’m concerned about all of the things I’ve spoken about in this blog.
I’m concerned about what the cardiologist will find; concerned if the ultrasound will show something serious. Concerned I’ll have to take a job (I don’t want) that feels like giving up on my dream. Concerned that February will be harder than January, and March harder than February.
Fear is often part of the equation.
But guess what? You can’t let fear keep you from doing. You gotta take action. That’s the only way to eliminate fear’s power over you.
“For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power and of love and self-discipline” (2 Timothy 1:7, NLT).
Jesus asked, “Can all your worries add a single moment to your life?” No. But faith-filled action can change everything about how I live the moments I have.
What does that action look like? It’s different for everyone, but the principle is the same: move forward even when you’re scared.
“So too, faith, if it does not have works [to back it up] is by itself dead [inoperative and ineffective]” (James 2:17, AMP).
Faith without works is dead. Fear might show up, but it doesn’t get to stop you.
Keep your eyes focused on Jesus and His promises. All of the promises will be fulfilled, but He often requires you to DO something to receive the fulfillment of His promises. The more you read and study the Word, the more you’ll see and discern what you need to do. God talks to us through His Word, but you have to spend time with Him through reading it.
The Dance of Faith: God Does His Part, I Do Mine
This is what I know about faith and action: God can absolutely provide that $300+ deductible in ways I can’t orchestrate. He’s done it before, and He can do it again. Let me cue up Tye Tribbett from my music playlist (iykyk)😄.
“And my God will liberally supply (fill until full) your every need according to His riches of his glory in Christ Jesus” (Philippians 4:19, AMP).
BUT—and this is important—even if He does provide it miraculously, I still have work to do.
I still have to schedule the mammogram.
I still have to call the finance department and ask about options.
I still have to keep job hunting.
I still have to keep writing my blogs and work on building my brand.
The provision might be supernatural, but your participation is required.
Think about the widow’s oil in 2 Kings 4:1-7. God miraculously multiplied the oil—BUT she had to gather jars, pour the oil, and sell it herself.
That’s the dance of faith: trusting God to do what only He can do, while also doing what I can do.
And here’s a specific promise we can stand on in this dance: Philippians 4:6-7 isn’t just good advice—it’s a divine guarantee. God says if we’re obedient to pray about everything instead of worrying about anything, we WILL experience His peace. Not might. Not maybe. WILL. A peace that guards our hearts and minds as we live in Christ Jesus—a peace that surpasses anything we can understand.
The circumstances might not change immediately. The test results still have to come back. The bills still need to be paid. But His peace? That’s guaranteed when we choose prayer over anxiety. We have to trust and believe what the Lord is telling us here—take the action of praying, and He promises the result of His peace.
Again, that’s the dance of faith: trusting God to do what only He can do, while doing what I can do.
I’m not passively waiting for a miracle. I’m stepping forward expecting one.
“Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight” (Proverbs 3:5-6, NIV).
What I’m Actually Doing (Even Scared)
So here’s what action looks like for me right now:
I’m praying. Worship-centered prayers that anchor me in who God is. I talk to God because He is who I trust the most.
I’m scheduling the cardiology appointment even though I don’t have the copay right now.
I’m booking the ultrasound and gynecology visit even with no income.
I’m scheduling the follow-up mammogram even without the $300+ deductible, and I’m calling financial services to ask about payment plans or assistance.
I’m continuing to learn about building my brand, even though I can’t see how ZFJ will become a meaningful, consistent income yet. I’m job hunting even though I’m praying for something rent.
I’m trusting that as I move in obedience, God moves in provision.
Not because I’m hustling my way into God’s favor. (Believe me, that is not a thing.) But because I’m partnering with Him.
“Commit your actions to the LORD, and your plans will succeed” (Proverbs 16:3, NLT).
God’s provision might come through unexpected channels—a surprise check in the mail, a friend led to help financially, a payment plan that makes things manageable, a job offer at just the right time, someone who shows me how to make ZFJ profitable, or a medical financial assistance program I didn’t know existed. The how isn’t always clear, but the Who is certain.
But I won’t experience ANY of those provisions if I don’t move. If I sit paralyzed by the fear, “I don’t have the money”, and I don’t act, I shouldn’t expect anything.
God’s provision often comes THROUGH my obedience, not before it.
Don’t Let a Rough Start Turn Into a Rough Year
January was one for the books! February might be just as challenging with medical tests, appointments, bills, and waiting for results.
But I’m choosing not to let anxiety write the script for the rest of 2026.
Not because circumstances have improved. But because God’s promises don’t change based on my EKG results or my bank balance.
“Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever” (Hebrews 13:8, NIV).
The Lord tells us to be anxious for nothing for a reason. And He also tells us how not to be anxious: through prayer.
Prayer that worships.
Prayer that partners with God.
Prayer that moves me to action even when I’m scared.
I don’t know what the cardiologist will say. I don’t know if I’ll get a job offer anytime soon or if ZFJ will generate income this year. I don’t know how the medical bills will get paid.
But I know this: God’s promises are yes and amen. “For no matter how many promises God has made, they are ‘Yes’ in Christ” (2 Corinthians 1:20, NIV). And He’s asking me to partner with Him through action—even scared action. Even imperfect action. Even “I don’t see how this works out” action.
So I’m praying. And I’m doing. And I’m trusting that He’ll meet me in the middle of both. And I also know God does some of His most profound work in our lives during times of difficulties and stress. He wants to become our strength. He wants us to lean on and trust Him alone.
“I can do all this through him who gives me strength” (Philippians 4:13, NIV).
No, February might be challenging for me. But I’m walking through it anyway—boldly, prayerfully, and one obedient step at a time.
Reflection Questions
Take a moment to journal on these questions:
What anxiety is doing the impossible math in your life right now? What are you calculating that’s keeping you paralyzed?
What’s the difference between performative prayer and worship-centered prayer for you? How might shifting from “give me what I want” to “You are who You say You are” change your prayers?
What action is fear keeping you from taking? What appointment do you need to make? What call do you need to place? What application do you need to submit? What dream do you need to keep pursuing even though you can’t see the path yet?
Where are you waiting for provision BEFORE obedience? What if God is waiting for you to move first?
How can you do your part while trusting God to do His? What does the “dance of faith” look like in your specific situation?
Moving Forward
I don’t have all the answers. I’m still in the thick of it—still job hunting, still waiting on test results, still trusting God for provision.
But I’m not letting a rough start turn into a rough year.
I’m choosing prayer over panic. Action over paralysis. Faith over fear.
And I’m inviting you to do the same.
If you’re facing impossible math, medical unknowns, financial pressure, or dreams that feel far away while bills are immediate—you’re not alone. We’re walking this together.
And the God who sees you, knows you, and loves you is already making a way.
Keep your eyes on Jesus. Keep moving in obedience. Keep praying in worship.
Life is a faith journey. Walk boldly—but walk prayerfully, and sometimes, walk scared but obedient anyway.
💜
Tami Zanele
If this post resonated with you, I’d love to hear about it. What action are you taking even though you’re afraid? Share in the comments or reach out—we thrive together.
