“Seek the Lord and His strength; seek His face continually [longing to be in His presence].” – 1 Chronicles 16:11 (AMP)
One Walk, One Snowstorm, Three Fridays
One walk.
That’s it. One walk all year, and it was on January 1st.
A snowstorm hit on January 25th, and the nature trail has been covered with hard, icy snow ever since. The last three Fridays, I’ve done strength training. I have been tracking some of my food macros, but not consistently.
Faithful February was supposed to be about continuing the journey from Jump-Start January. I wanted to build some momentum and start making small strides towards showing up consistently for my health goals.
I wanted progress. What I got was pause.
Instead? It became about giving myself grace while showing up for life—in whatever way I could manage—while everything around me demanded more than I had to give.
When Life Demands Everything
Someone I love had a mental health crisis a few weeks ago. This person showed great courage in seeking help, and I thank God I was there.
My grandmother has been in hospice care since mid-December, and she is declining. Seeing someone you’ve loved for your entire life decline is hard to witness. And that is putting it mildly.
Let me say that again: mental health crisis + hospice care = two life crises happening simultaneously, on top of everything else I’m already carrying.
I had been visiting my grandmother almost every day.
But I had to make a choice.
Step back from daily visits for my own mental health, or risk breaking under the weight of it all.
I chose my mental health because the best version of me needs to be there for my grandmother now. She gave me her best for my entire life.
I keep reminding myself: you can’t pour from an empty cup. You can’t show up for everyone else if you’re drowning.
And sometimes, protecting your strength is an act of obedience.
Faithful to Survival, Not Perfection
I’ve been tracking my breakfast sporadically. That’s it—just breakfast. And I haven’t been doing that every day.
And I’ve been making chocolate chip cookies, drinking hot chocolate, and eating blueberry pancakes. Those are definitely not foods someone working toward lowering her A1C should consume regularly.
I have to get back to working on my metabolic health goals. It’s so important to me.
Why?
Because, as I said in my Determined December blog:
“Metabolic health is the game-changer. Once that happens, everything will most likely fall into place: the weight loss, muscle preservation/gain, cholesterol improvement, and vibrancy return. Improving my A1C will most likely fix all of this. All of this equals metabolically healthy.”
I need to put that quote on a poster and stick it to my bulletin board as motivation.
I also know consuming too much of the foods I just mentioned isn’t helping. My A1C will not improve if I keep eating this way.
But here’s what I know, too:
I’m surviving.
Right now, my coping strategies are prayer, hot chocolate, and chocolate chip cookies.
I’m doing my best not to guilt myself for that. In this season, during this time, that’s the grace I’m extending to myself.
I usually give something up for Lent, from Ash Wednesday until my birthday in May. This year, I didn’t. I just don’t have the capacity to add one more thing I “should” be doing.
When I’m ready—when I decide “that’s it” with the food indulgences—I’ll do it. I always do.
But right now?
Right now, I’m just making it through.
And if chocolate chip cookies and hot chocolate help me do that? It is what it is.
I shared in my last blog that I’m leaning into slower mornings during this season. I used to feel guilty about not jumping out of bed ready to conquer the day.
But right now? Slow mornings—taking my time, not rushing, letting my nervous system ease into the day—are survival.
They’re part of honoring winter.
And they’re part of what keeps me functional when everything else feels like it’s demanding more than I have to give.
I haven’t been hitting my 100-ounce daily water goal either. I’m getting 75–80 ounces most days. Adding at least 16 ounces to those slow mornings would help me meet that goal.
And if I’m honest… even writing that feels like pressure, doesn’t it?
I’m working through the best ways to honor my goals without pressuring myself.
Do you believe me? 😀
The Wins That Actually Matter
Here’s what I did do in February: I showed up.
Three consecutive Fridays of strength training. No, it’s not the three days per week I originally planned—but three weeks of consistency when everything in my life was chaos.
I have vintage barbells and plates that were given to me, and I’m lifting at home. Last week, I did a working deadlift set at 167.1 pounds. That might not sound like much to some people, but for someone who hasn’t lifted consistently since October? That’s strength I didn’t lose, and I wasn’t sore the next day. I’m so excited about that.
I’m lifting moderate weight—being smart, not pushing max—because injuring myself right now would be one more thing I can’t handle.
The nature trail has been snow-covered since the January 25th snowstorm, so I haven’t walked there since January 1st. But this week, I’m planning to walk my neighborhood at least once. Maybe twice, if I can.
I really prefer walking outside. Walking in nature, whether it’s the nature trail among the trees or in the neighborhood with cars speeding by, seems to help regulate my nervous system in ways indoor walking can’t. And right now, my nervous system needs all the help it can get.
Faithfulness isn’t perfection—it’s about showing up. Oftentimes, we have to let go of the idea of ‘perfect’ to arrive at a place where healing can occur.
What “Faithful” Actually Means
“Seek the Lord and His strength; seek His face continually.”
Not perfectly. Continually.
Faithful February didn’t mean:
- Faithful to my workout plan
- Faithful to my walking goals
- Faithful to perfect food tracking
- Faithful to my original intentions
It meant:
- Faithful to seeking God’s strength when mine was gone
- Faithful to showing up on Fridays, even when I didn’t want to
- Faithful to protecting my mental health when I needed to
- Faithful to adapting my plans when life demanded it
- Faithful to thanking God for being there every step of the way. Yes, even there. [Psalm 145:18 (AMP)]
One day of weekly strength training isn’t failure. It’s progress.
Progress isn’t always more. Sometimes progress is:
- Still lifting after months off
- One walk instead of zero
- Tracking breakfast instead of nothing
- Protecting your mental health instead of martyring yourself
- Asking for God’s strength instead of pretending you have your own
That’s faithful enough.
God’s Presence in the Chaos
Psalm 62:8 (AMP): “Trust (confidently) in Him at all times, O people; pour out your heart before Him. God is a refuge for us.”
Every disappointment, every failure, every challenge I’ve encountered these past weeks—the mental health crisis, my grandmother in hospice, the weight of survival—has been an opportunity to give it all to the Lord.
I trust Him at all times and in every situation. But the challenge for me has been learning to pour my heart out to Him in the moment.
Not after I’ve processed it.
Not when I feel strong enough to pray “properly.”
But right there—messy, broken, barely holding on.
I thank God I’m better at this now. Because I’ve learned something crucial: His Presence is THE BEST RESOURCE in times of stress.
Not my own strength.
Not my ability to hold it together.
Not even my health goals or coping mechanisms.
Him. Just Him.
Grace in the Middle
And here’s the grace in all of this—the light in the middle of the heavy: my loved one seems to be doing better now.
Not perfect. Not fully healed. But getting the help needed to get better.
I won’t share details—that’s their story, not mine. But I can tell you this: watching someone you love suffer is one of the heaviest things you can carry. And seeing them improve? That’s answered prayer. That’s God’s faithfulness when mine was running thin.
In a season where I’ve been holding on by a thread, “better” is everything.
It’s a reminder that faithfulness—mine and God’s—eventually leads somewhere, even when you can’t see it yet.
Reflection Questions
Take a moment to journal on these:
- What does “faithful” mean in your current season? Is it what you thought it would be, or has it been redefined because of your circumstances?
- Where have you been showing up (even imperfectly) that you haven’t given yourself credit for?
- What are you surviving with right now? (Food? Rest? Saying no? Something else?) Can you release the guilt about what’s keeping you afloat?
- When has God’s strength carried you when yours was gone? Where do you need to seek His strength instead of relying on your own?
- What does “one day a week” of faithfulness look like for you? (One workout? One meal tracked? One boundary held? One prayer prayed?)
Looking Towards Spring
This wasn’t quite the February I planned. I didn’t walk consistently. I didn’t track my food well. I didn’t meet my water goal. And I didn’t hit all three strength training days I wanted.
But I showed up the last three Fridays in a row when my world was heavy. I deadlifted 167 pounds three consecutive Fridays after four months off. I protected my mental health when I needed to. I chose survival over perfection.
And I kept seeking God’s strength, continually—even when I had nothing else to offer.
I’m praying March will bring me more capacity. Maybe the snow will melt, and the trail will be safer for my walks. I’ll make adjustments to my food choices and add either more sets, more reps, or another day of strength training.
And most importantly, I will stop putting pressure on myself. Really! 😀
Or maybe I’ll still be in survival mode—and that will have to be enough. Even then, I’ll still make adjustments to my food and activity.
Either way, I’m trusting that showing up—however imperfectly—is still an act of faithfulness. And God’s strength is enough to cover what mine cannot.
Life is a faith journey. The middle may feel messy, but your journey is still beautiful. Walk boldly, trust God in the process, and extend grace—both to yourself and to another woman walking alongside you.
What does faithfulness look like in your season right now? Share one thing you’ve been showing up for, even imperfectly. Let’s remind each other that faithful doesn’t mean perfect.
See you in late March for my Momentum March post—where we’ll continue this journey, one imperfect step at a time.
💜
Tami Zanele
